Fact #63:
I can & I will. I’ll manage. I’ll learn. I’ll balance. I’ll fucking do it all. Watch. :)
♥ / Fri May 18th, 2012 ≡ reblog"sweep you off your feet,
keep you on your toes,
baby you already know."
♥ / Fri May 18th, 2012 ≡ reblog
too much food for thought
I’m a multitasker. Or I think most times. I try to keep everything & everyone in mind. I don’t want to miss the things I care about. I don’t want to miss out on things I care about. Waaahh. I feel like I have a lot of things going in my mind. I never want to neglect anyone. I have (too) many close guy friends and 3 girlfriends that mean a LOT to me, every single one, equally. And I’m constantly building good relationships with people. There’s also family, acquaintances, priorities, etc. I don’t want any of it passing me by. There’s so much I want to do, people I want to catch up with. And I like how I live, independently for myself, and myself alone.
Then it worrrrries me. I go on a number of dates, I talk to a number guyyys, yeeyuhs. But never cared to commit. It really is just good times, and random fun. I make their day they make mine no more no less. They come, they go, NBD. Then omw home riding in the passenger seat, windows down, doing dolphins with my guy friend, I asked, “You think if I had a boyfriend.. if he’d be understanding that I have a lot of guy friends? Or you think he’ll be insecure about it.”
Don’t know how to be a good girlfriend. Don’t know how to balance it. Don’t know how to manaaage. Wouldn’t know how to act. I just don’t freaking know, it’s almost frustrating. But.. caring about someone takes a great deal of effort, it really does. Be there when they need, always keep them in mind, genuinely care about their every well being. I can do that, course. But I just.. never cared to before. And I’m actually contemplating.
I can’t imagine how it’d be like. I get shit now for not spending enough time with my guy friends. So I’m scared I’ll see my girlfriends less, afraid I”ll lose touch with my guy friends, coming over to his place more, running errands together, going on dates, having fun, basking in each other’s company, doing it all etc. It’s like… cutting half a chunk of my life out & replacing it with commitment. I know my views are all.. pessimistic and that it isn’t really like that. But Idk, get a little, give a little. This is juuuuuust soooo weird. It just means I wouldn’t be “doing me” anymore. I’d be doing you. LOLLL.
But if anything, I do promise I’ll keep in touch with the ones that matter.
And above it all, I’ve been dipping my toes in the water, testing it out, seeing if it’s worth the jump. And idkkkk, I’m pacing back and forth contemplating whether or not I’ll sink or swim. And if I do decide to jump, when? Cos if I’m jumping, I’m not looking back. I’m gonna do it right. And I have no intention of sinking and I sure as hell hope I don’t end up drowning. a;sldkfsdf
♥ / Fri May 18th, 2012 ≡ reblogFact #62:
rollercoasters never feel fast, high, or thrilling enough,
pumping up the music to max volume ain’t ever loud enough,
going 100+ mph on the freeway aint even close to fast enough,
i can never get enough. whatever it may be, life keeps me wanting more. :)
♥ / Fri May 18th, 2012 ≡ reblogS,
just being in your companyy makes me really appreciate people, life, and you.
goood vibes good timess <3
♥ / Fri May 18th, 2012 ≡ reblogA: hahahaha im a big fat baby. a big baby of fat.
L: You should roll around. Like a fat baby.
L:
A: Hahah that reminds me of this kid that’s really cute around the apartments, I always mess with him on my way in and out.
L: It’s a striking image of you. I almost thought it was
A: Hahhahaahah eff you
L: You wish.
A: Hhahahahahahha wtf
A: stupid
L: hahahahah
♥ / Fri May 18th, 2012 ≡ reblog"I did then what I knew how to do.
Now that I know better, I do better."
Maya Angelou
♥ / Fri May 18th, 2012 ≡ reblog
